Real Salt Lake Soccer

Mike and I went to a Major League Soccer game today to see Real Salt Lake play the Chicago Fire. Thanks to RSL GM Steve Pastorino (pictured), we sat in great seats and got the inside scoop during the game.

We sat right behind Frank Klopas, former US Men's National Team player, and listened to him break down the game. I had a great time and look forward to seeing RSL win the next time I get to a game.

Lancaster, PA

I never thought I would ever get to say I had a Whoopie Pie in Intercourse, PA, but that is what happens when you have some free time near Lancaster, PA. You could also visit Bird-In-Hand, PA and Blue Ball, PA if you have the time. It seems that there are only a few things to do: shop at the outlet malls or stare at the Amish. After seeing an Amish guy checking out an iPod in Target, I chose to get a Mango Gelati at Rita's Ice and watch World Cup Soccer instead.

Galax, VA

Galax (pronounced Gay-lax), Virginia will never be the same. The World Capital of Mountain Music hosted a comedy show, so expect anyone that played a banjo, dulcimer, or fiddle to start rolling over in their graves. This is the only town that has a church auction off a gun cabinet for a fund raiser. Apparently guns and Jesus blend well in Galax. If you visit for lunch or dinner, make sure you visit The Galax Smokehouse for some ribs. They were the best I have ever had.

Then get yourself a mammoth Shirley Temple to finish off the night.

The Bob & Tom Radio Show

I made my first appearance on the nationally-syndicated portion of The Bob & Tom Radio Network, heard in over 150 markets across the country. That is a lot of people listening to my jokes. I had a great time on the show and appreciated their laughter. Look for the unedited version of my appearance soon on my demo page. It was quite an experience to follow Richard Jeni in the studio.

Myrtle Beach, SC

I just finished driving 12 hours home from Myrtle Beach, SC. It was a lot of fun to go bodyboarding and get sunburned. Just to let you know, the Coppertone Sport Continuous Spray sunscreen does not actually provide the advertised "quick and even coverage" when put on in the wind. Therefore, I have patches of white surrounded by a lot of red. The local old wives' tale to remedy this is to lather it up with Head & Shoulders shampoo and I must say that it worked.

Clemson, SC

After doing a show nearby, I visited the Clemson University Football office for a special tour with Chad, the person responsible for the highlight reels for Clemson football. He took me to the stadium, nicknamed Death Valley, and showed me the sacred Howard's Rock that the team touches before running down a huge hill into the stadium. There were orange paw prints everywhere, even on the roads. Now I can definitely root for Clemson, especially when they beat Florida State.

West Lafayette, IN

Happy Mother's Day! I just finished my unofficial Big 10 tour with shows in Lafayette, IN and Bloomington, IN this week. It was not too bad until I told the Purdue kids I went to Notre Dame. They got over pretty quickly when I started making fun of Kyle Orton. Apparently no one really likes that guy -- unless you play safety in the NFL and can pad your stats by getting a bunch of interceptions when you play the Bears.

Erie, PA

On the way home from Erie, I passed this van in the middle of Ohio. I was kind of surprised when I saw that a van painted like Pink Floyd's album The Dark Side of the Moon was not being searched by the police on the side of the road. I am pretty sure they were watching The Wizard of Oz, though. Weird.

Train Concert

I just performed in front of 4,000 people as the opening act for Train, the Grammy Award winning band. As you can see from the picture, I could not see anything so there was no way to get nervous.

I was in Erie, PA with Steve Shaffer and Jared Stern at JR's Comedy Club when this opportunity came up between the two Saturday shows. This is why it pays to be a clean comedian.

Car Stereo Stolen

My car was broken into last night while it was parked at a mechanic shop downtown Indianapolis. How pathetic does someone have to be to break into a car and steal a car stereo? Not only that, the thieves decided to also steal my library card -- as if they know how to read -- and a box full of JohnGcomedy.com website cards. They left the crowbar used to break my window and the police have identified the fingerprints. Idiots.