Pittsburgh, PA

My weekend at The Funny Bone in Pittsburgh was a lot of fun -- once I got there. Driving in Pittsburgh is pretty crazy, especially now that there is construction everywhere. Even the detour routes have construction on them!

The people there certainly love their Steelers. It is automatic that if you say "Go Steelers" anywhere in Pittsburgh, the people have to clap. I think it is a city ordinance.

Clinton County, IL

In case you missed The Clinton County Comedy Tour this weekend, here is the Top10 I wrote for the shows. Feel free to email this to all your friends that might get these inside jokes. I had a great time and appreciated everyone that came out. Be sure to check JohnGcomedy.com for my road stories and future shows.

Top 10 Clinton Co Signs Spring Is Here
written by John Garrett
www.JohnGcomedy.com

10. You dust off your beer helmet and Bingo cards for the upcoming church picnic season.

9. Forget MTV's Spring Break : Cancun, Kaskaskia College kids have "Spring Break : Keyesport".

8. You see people in church at Easter you haven't seen since Christmas – and won't see until next Christmas.

7. A wardrobe change in your closet consists of replacing flannel shirts with sleeveless flannel shirts.

6. You go to take down your Christmas lights but then realize it's almost May and might as well leave them up for the year.

5. The Breese Golf Course is flooded – again.

4. You can't get into the carwash because the bays are full of mud.

3. Send your Clinton County softball jersey to the dry cleaners. Not because it's dirty but because that's the only way to remove the beer stains.

2. Spring cleaning consists of removing three trash bags of Stag beer cans from your clubhouse.

1. We can look forward to the Central girls dominating basketball and then having Don Imus call them straight-haired farm beeyotches.

U.P. Michigan

The UP is what they call it. I call it BFE. I just finished a full week of shows in the frozen tundra -- in mid-April.

I started the week at Acme in Minneapolis, MN. My trip then took me to Duluth, MN and then to Kewadin Casinos in the UP of Michigan -- St. Ignace, Sault Ste Marie and Manistique. While driving to Manistique, I saw a sign that said that the parking rest area was closed until Spring.
I guess their Spring doesn't start until June, so pack your winter coat if you plan on visiting before then.

Riverside, IA

Tonight was possibly the weirdest show I have ever done. I was at the beautiful Riverside Resort Casino in Riverside, IA. The problem was that the show as actually in the casino! There was a crowd of eight on a Tuesday night and that doesn't count the dealers that were listening in when they didn't have customers. Unbelievable.

Chicago, IL

This week is going to be a little hectic but so far it has been a lot of fun.

I did a showcase set at Zanies Comedy Club downtown in Chicago on Monday night. It was nice to have a college friend there for support. The set went well and I hope to get a week booked there soon. Tonight was my chance to meet some of my peers in the Chicago comedy scene as I was a part of Chicago Underground Comedy's show. I had a great time and look forward to returning at some point in the future. Thank you to my other Chicago friends for coming to the show and to comedians Tony Sam and Ken Barnard for making me feel welcome.

Now I am off to LaCrosse, WI for a night before performing in Milwaukee for the weekend.

The Bob & Tom Radio Show

I was a guest on the nationally-syndicated The Bob & Tom Show this morning to help promote my show at Legends of Notre Dame.

(Picture of me with Tom Griswold)

The other comedians on the show were Greg Morton and Eric Hunter. They were a lot of fun to hang out with so it provided for a lot of laughs for the listeners.

Eric and I then picked up Jimmy Brogan at the airport and drove to Notre Dame to judge a student standup comedy show. There were some talented students which made the show very enjoyable. I told them all that going full-time in comedy will probably not make their parents happy. Then I told them they are sure to disappoint their parents sometime, so they might as well do it early.

(Photo by Jimmy Brogan)

Velocity Magazine in Louisville, KY

While performing last weekend in Louisville, KY at The Comedy Caravan, I happened to pick up this local print media. The Velocity is a free, weekly publication about current events in Louisville.

This particular issue happened to have a cover article about "hipster parents". The hilarious part came when I noticed the unrelated side article entitled "Oops, I Forgot to Save for Retirement" (see red arrow below). The best part is that it literally looks like it is a quote bubble coming out of Mr. Mohawk's mouth. Absolutely brilliant.

If you happen to work for The Velocity, take note that your efforts did not go unnoticed.

Louisville, KY

This week was rough because this was the first time in my comedy career that I have had to perform sick.

It all started after seeing Jim Carrey in The Number 23. The movie is about a guy that becomes obsessed with the number 23 and everything in his life adds up to 23. Sure, it sounds silly but it got a little creepy when I returned to my apartment and realized it was building 1013 (yes, 10 + 13 = 23) and the apartment was B3 (yes, B is the 2nd letter of the alphabet). That is when I got the flu for two days (yes, 2 days of the "flu" -- 3 letters).

Luckily, the staff at The Comedy Caravan in Louisville, KY is one of the best in the country and we were able to make it work.

Fort Campbell, KY

If you have never met a guy that goes by "Dirty", then you have obviously never visited Froggy's on Ft. Campbell, KY. The picture is of Dirty and comedians Laura Lou, Mike Green and me.
Ft. Campbell is the home of the 101st Airborne "Screaming Eagles". A special thanks to the two young Army soldiers that gave me a lift to buy a new car battery at Wal-Mart. But seriously, you can quit calling me "sir".

Huntsville, AL

After my show at The Station, I decided to take a day to visit The Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, AL. I had always wanted to go to Space Camp as a kid, so now I got to visit as an adult. It is a great museum with many exhibits about the history of NASA's space travels. Outside the museum, there are placards for each planet in our solar system -- including Pluto!



One would think that NASA would be the first to know that Pluto was removed from the list of planets several months ago. I am sure there is a "take down Pluto sign" memo sitting in someone's inbox with some other important documents, like Lisa Nowak's termination papers.

Until then, Pluto lives on in Huntsville, AL.