Wardrobe Change

Based on the urging of comedian Tim Bedore, I wore a tie on stage this weekend at The Jukebox Comedy Club in Peoria, IL. Tim's thinking was that it made me look more like an accountant on stage.

I was concerned that the tie might come across as too formal, so I loosened it a bit and rolled up my sleeves. The crowd reaction didn't seem to change. As a matter of fact, not a single person asked me if I was really an accountant because they all believed it.

Maybe my tie will be my new signature. Drew Carey has his glasses, Steve Martin has his suspenders, Jay Leno has his chin and now I have my tie.

Dayton, OH

What is the appropriate response when someone asks you to sign their head after a comedy show? I didn't know, either. It seemed a little odd but I guess that is the least I can do for a guy that thought my set at Wiley's Comedy Club was funny. So, thank you Erik (aka "Unkle") for being a comedy fan. I hope that washes off eventually.


("Unkle" with signatures from Tim Bedore and me)

Branson, MO

I am in Branson, MO this entire week and have seen some of the craziest things. I have seen more guys wearing t-shirts with their sleeves ripped off in one week than I have in the last three years combined. Unbelievable. Maybe they could take some of the money spent on a show ticket and go buy some t-shirts with sleeves.

There is a guy that performs nightly at The Golden Corral buffet restaurant. That has to be the worst gig ever.

The best show I saw in Branson was SIX, a group of brothers that provide all the percussion and harmony with their voices and no CD track or band. They sang everything from U2 to The Beach Boys to Amazing Grace.

The other shows I went to were:

- Best of Motown (they really need a comedy writer),

- Legends (the Britney Spears impersonator was skinnier and a better singer than the real Britney),

- Yakov Smirnoff (old people love this guy as much as he loves America) and

- Magic of Darren Romeo (made Jeff Gordon's NASCAR car appear and then disappear, which was impressive).

Tennessee

On my drive home from Myrtle Beach yesterday, I noticed that McDonald's in Tennesse is selling Sweet Tea (pronounced Sweettay -- all one word).

This particular McDonald's also had the McRib back. Could you imagine getting the McRib combo with a Sweet Tea? I am pretty sure that combo comes with a toy Trans Am.

Myrtle Beach, SC

Driving without air conditioning seems like something I could do. But driving 13 hours from Erie, PA to Myrtle Beach, SC was a little rough. I was performing at JR's Last Laugh in Erie with Fred Klett, who is absolutely hilarious. If you are ever booking a cruise, check Fred's schedule first and book that one.

Then I went to Myrtle Beach to perform all week at The Comedy Cabana. My second trip to Myrtle Beach has been great thanks to my friends Kathryn and Jenks.

They took me to Bummz for lunch and a driving history tour of the area. Sports Illustrated was founded here and that is good enough for me.

Hair Fairy Project Corporate Show

Doing shows for charity should make a comedian feel good about themselves. This was the case tonight when I performed with Diana Jordan for The Hair Fairy Project, Inc. It was a fun show run by good people at an unbelievable venue for a good cause. They were a little short on stage staff, so I got to pull the curtain down before the show.

Pittsburgh, PA

My weekend at The Funny Bone in Pittsburgh was a lot of fun -- once I got there. Driving in Pittsburgh is pretty crazy, especially now that there is construction everywhere. Even the detour routes have construction on them!

The people there certainly love their Steelers. It is automatic that if you say "Go Steelers" anywhere in Pittsburgh, the people have to clap. I think it is a city ordinance.

Clinton County, IL

In case you missed The Clinton County Comedy Tour this weekend, here is the Top10 I wrote for the shows. Feel free to email this to all your friends that might get these inside jokes. I had a great time and appreciated everyone that came out. Be sure to check JohnGcomedy.com for my road stories and future shows.

Top 10 Clinton Co Signs Spring Is Here
written by John Garrett
www.JohnGcomedy.com

10. You dust off your beer helmet and Bingo cards for the upcoming church picnic season.

9. Forget MTV's Spring Break : Cancun, Kaskaskia College kids have "Spring Break : Keyesport".

8. You see people in church at Easter you haven't seen since Christmas – and won't see until next Christmas.

7. A wardrobe change in your closet consists of replacing flannel shirts with sleeveless flannel shirts.

6. You go to take down your Christmas lights but then realize it's almost May and might as well leave them up for the year.

5. The Breese Golf Course is flooded – again.

4. You can't get into the carwash because the bays are full of mud.

3. Send your Clinton County softball jersey to the dry cleaners. Not because it's dirty but because that's the only way to remove the beer stains.

2. Spring cleaning consists of removing three trash bags of Stag beer cans from your clubhouse.

1. We can look forward to the Central girls dominating basketball and then having Don Imus call them straight-haired farm beeyotches.

U.P. Michigan

The UP is what they call it. I call it BFE. I just finished a full week of shows in the frozen tundra -- in mid-April.

I started the week at Acme in Minneapolis, MN. My trip then took me to Duluth, MN and then to Kewadin Casinos in the UP of Michigan -- St. Ignace, Sault Ste Marie and Manistique. While driving to Manistique, I saw a sign that said that the parking rest area was closed until Spring.
I guess their Spring doesn't start until June, so pack your winter coat if you plan on visiting before then.

Riverside, IA

Tonight was possibly the weirdest show I have ever done. I was at the beautiful Riverside Resort Casino in Riverside, IA. The problem was that the show as actually in the casino! There was a crowd of eight on a Tuesday night and that doesn't count the dealers that were listening in when they didn't have customers. Unbelievable.