Lansing, MI

You know what people in Michigan don't like? Import cars. Any import car. They also don't like the words "Toyota" and "Honda". So I decided to shock everyone at Connxtions Comedy Club in Lansing, MI with a very funny joke that uses both words. As you can see from the picture, I was waiting for a beer bottle to get thrown at my face.

The weekend was nice because I got to see my friends Jeff and Jill Lenkowski. They are really cool people despite Jeff being an engineer. It was nice that they brought a group of friends to the show, too.

In order to help promote the shows, Demetrius Nicodemus and I did a few morning radio shows in Lansing. It's not often that a radio station takes over an old two-story house and turns a bedroom into the studio, but don't tell that to Michaels in the Morning on 94.9FM.

Two Hours I Won't Be Getting Back

I joined 35,000 people this morning in Indianapolis to run the Mini-Marathon (click for action picture or see another one below).

That name is ridiculous because there is nothing mini about it. The Mini-Marathon is the country's largest half-marathon (13.1 miles) and the eighth largest running event. This event features a lap around the famous track at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

The track is huge and I never thought it was going to end. It's a good thing I ate nothing but pasta for three days straight. I finished with a respectable time of 1:55:25. That was good enough to get me 6,005th place overall. I thought that was pretty good until I found out the winner was already back in Kenya.

Seinfeld Documentary Clip

This scene from Jerry Seinfeld's documentary "Comedian" (2002) is perfect. I have used this story myself when explaining to others what it's like to be a comedian. While it is something that no one can fully understand or appreciate unless they are also a comedian, this story really sums it up well.

Fireman Convention

I spent this weekend at the FDIC (Fire Department Instructors Conference) Convention in Indianapolis, somewhere in the middle of 340,000 square feet of convention space with over 900 vendors. It was pretty overwhelming to say the least.

Why was I there? Because Black Diamond has an excellent marketing campaign for their X-Boot. The idea is that fire boots by themselves are not exciting, so Black Diamond decided to make their booth a little more interesting. What would attract more than 35,000 firefighters and EMTs, most of which are male? Models. It was my job to let everyone know who the models were and talk to people as they passed by.

The models were Aubrie Lemon (Deal or No Deal Case 23) and Carrie Stroup (Maxim). They were both very fun to work with. I believe my favorite line was, "Aubrie's been on TV and Carrie... owns a TV, so come say hi." It was amazing to me how these firefighters would run into a burning building but were reluctant to talk to Aubrie or Carrie.

Aubrie and Carrie thought it'd be funny to get my camera and take some candid pictures on the last day.

I think those two signs pretty much say it all:
Training in Progress and Emergency Scene Ahead.

One of the many self-portraits the girls took. It reminded me of the Ashton Kutcher Nikon Coolpix commercial, except I'm not Ashton Kutcher and none of those girls stuck their tongue out.

The last of the self-portraits was of Carrie's right eye. On the flight to Indianapolis, she accidentally put nail glue in her eye instead of eye drops. I am still not quite sure exactly how that can happen but it cleared up by the end of the weekend for our group picture.

Memphis, TN

Mayor Willie Herenton was recently elected again using the campaign slogan "Shake The Haters Off". I really wish I was making this up, but I am not. See here, here, here and here for proof. If you look closely at his bio, you might notice that he actually has earned a Ph.D. -- in Education -- from Southern Illinois University. Wow.

The shows at Comedy, TN were a lot of fun. It was nice working with Jeff Caldwell, too. You may have seen Jeff on The Late Show with David Letterman or The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Michael McCommon is a local photographer that was at one of the shows so he took a few pictures.

It was a good thing the University of Memphis basketball team won their Final Four game because people Saturday night were in a good mood. That makes doing comedy a little easier. What doesn't make doing comedy easier is knowing the University of Memphis has a Men's and Women's Rifle Squad. I guess nothing can surprise me in Memphis anymore.

Garfield Thinks I'm Funny

Jim Davis, creator of Garfield, is a fan of my comedy. He invited me to be a part of the launch event for ProfessorGarfield.org, a website designed to help kids learn to read.

He was such a nice guy and told me stories about his days at Ball State University with David Letterman.

I thought I would take the time to find one of my favorite Garfield strips.

Dayton, OH

The first night at Wiley's Comedy Club in Dayton, OH was a little weird. The comedy club plays some music before the announcements to start the show. A drunk mom (her son was there to witness this) sitting near the stage thought it would be funny to climb onstage and attempt a burlesque-type dance. When the manager turned down the music, she tried to scurry off the stage but lost her balance and fell on her butt. It was absolutely classic. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures or video to share with you so you're going to have to take my word that it was hilarious.

It was not surprising when she felt the need to staunchly defend McDonald's sweet tea by yelling, "But it's only a dollar". My response, "Right on cue".

My Amazing Race

I just had the most stressful weekend I have had in a very long time. I performed Thursday and Friday night at JR's Last Laugh, a great comedy club in Erie, PA. The shows with Michael Somerville and Eric Hunter were fun since we are all ND alumni and it was St. Patrick's Day weekend.

The reason I didn't perform on Saturday was because I had booked a corporate show near St. Louis, MO for that night. All was going well until NWA cancelled the flights out of Erie due to fog. This is when it got stressful and the Amazing Race (against the clock) started.

After a quick breather, I realized that my options were:
- try flying out of Pittsburgh (2 hours south)
- try flying out of Cleveland (2 hours west)
- drive the entire way (9 hours)

Since it was noon and my corporate show was at 8:15pm, I had no time to waste. I quickly left the line at the NWA counter, rented a car from Avis (they were cheapest) and drove straight to my corporate show. I half expected Phil Keoghan (the host of The Amazing Race) to be waiting there to tell me I had been eliminated.


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I still cannot believe I made it in time to put on a suit in the parking lot. Within 15 minutes of arriving, I was on stage. Needless to say, I slept nicely that night before heading home to Indianapolis.

Columbia, MO

The best way to describe Columbia, MO is to say it is the home of the University of Missouri, a party school with a huge frat/sorority population. Let's just say these kids aren't big readers. Their Tiger Spirit store sells these t-shirts:

I had fun at Deja Vu Comedy Club with headliner Eric O'Shea. We even got to do the Cosmo & J.C. Morning Radio Show from Kaldi's Coffeehouse. That allowed us to talk about everyone walking by without them knowing.

Bob & Tom Radio Show again

I was a guest on the nationally-syndicated Bob & Tom Show for three hours this morning. It was nice being the only guest on the show but it also meant I had to be ready at all times.

Tom continues to give me a hard time about being a single accountant. Even though it is radio and most people do not actually see me, I wore the shirt and tie combination to really bring my character to life. It seemed to go over well and I appreciated all the emails I got from listeners.