Friday, December 22, 2006

Mason City, IL

Mason City, IL is an unlikely place for a comedy club, but Mason City Limits in this small town draws people from all over central Illinois. I am working with Mike Armstrong again this weekend which is always fun.

During lunch at the Chestnut St. Grill, I noticed that they had clocks on their wall that showed the time in "California", "Denver", "Mason City", "New York" and "London". London?!? I am going to go out on a limb and say that I don't think there is a clock in London that says "Mason City" on it.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Los Angeles, CA

I performed at The Laugh Factory tonight in Hollywood, CA. It was pretty unbelievable being there just one week after Michael Richards went off on his hecklers with racial profanity.

(Photo by Jimmy Brogan)

I managed to make it through the set without any heckles. The intense part came after the show when Jamie Masada, owner/booking agent, told me that he wants me to do a longer set next time in order to become a "regular".

I am not sure exactly what that means but it was nice to get some positive feedback for all of the hard work I have put in.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Notre Dame Football @ USC

I went to the Notre Dame - USC football game tonight. This visit reiterated how much I cannot stand anything USC: the team, the band, the song, the campus, the people, the colors, all of it. The highlight of the night was when I saw a guy wearing an OJ Simpson jersey.

I suppose the knife and bloody glove are sold seperately. "One bad apple and we get that reputation," I heard another fan say. One bad apple? Double murder is not a "bad apple". Being kicked out of school for assault is a bad apple. Then again, USC doesn't kick kids out of school for that, so maybe that's why they don't understand.

Another favorite part was the half-empty student section. Way to show up and support your team.

The last thing I would like to mention is the USC band is horrible. They only play two songs and some still needed sheet music. Really? Maybe they should just sing the words instead of playing. Everyone now, "This is the only song we know. It's boring and it's slow".

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

Trenton, IL

It always makes me laugh out loud when someone gets offended at one of my jokes. Just check out my demo clips on my page to see how innocent my act is. Sometimes people get offended and feel compelled to write me an email. This was so beautiful that I had to share it with everyone.

I recently performed at the Citizens for Trenton Dinner in Trenton, IL. This is a small town near St. Louis where I went to high school. This is also a town where people are a little too serious about high school, especially those people that attended 30 years ago. So, I thought it would be fun to do a few jokes about the local Catholic high school, Mater Dei. I attended the local public high school, Wesclin, so someone got offended and decided to write me an email about it. I assure you that this is the unedited version of that email.

I was at Citizens for Trenton on Saturday November 4, 2006, I enjoyed just about everything except for your bashing of Mater Dei High School, their are citizens of Trenton, New Baden, Aviston, Breese and other communities that attend the Citizens for Trenton and who send their children to Mater Dei, myself included, I do not bash Wesclin. I feel the people have a choice of two good schools, our choice was Mater Dei for the Catholic education. Please be more carefully with your material in the future. I know other parents of Mater Dei students were offended by your material. just a side note my son who attends Mater Dei has many friends who attend Wesclin and are very good friends as well as their parents are friends with and my wife and I. Good Luck with you career in Comedy.

Unbelievable. Of course, I replied to this email by trying to explain that my jokes about Mater Dei are really no different than my jokes about marching band or crock-pots. I am sure the message was not understood, though, because my email was not written like I was in the first grade.

Wednesday, November 1, 2006

Boise, ID

Boise... State... Boise... State...

I could barely get to sleep tonight after being on sidelines for the Boise State vs. Fresno State football game. The crowd was so loud that the cheering echoed in my head three hours after the game ended. I had an all-access pass that allowed me to go anywhere in the stadium, so I spent most of the game on the sidelines of the blue turf. That is where I got a picture with the mascot, Bronco.

While I was in Boise, I also did a set at The Funny Bone Comedy Club. It went really well so I expect to be back there soon.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Virginia Beach, VA

When visiting Virginia Beach, VA, you absolutely must take a trip to Mount Trashmore Park. Rising nearly seven stories above sea level, the landfill (voted best park in the area) is the tallest point of land in the region. There is even a Lake Trashmore in case you feel like eating a fish caught in a lake right next to a landfill. Unbelievable.

On top of all this news, I happened to visit the park during the Lumberjack Championship. Forget the axe-throwing and log-chopping. The best part were the interviews after each event. Even more unbelievable.

Sunday, October 1, 2006

Memphis, TN

Beware, Dr. Willie Herenton, current mayor of the city of Memphis, TN. The crowds at Comedy Tennessee Comedy Club were overwhelmingly supportive of my notion to run for mayor. I told them I would only do it if I could live in Graceland, Elvis Presley's former home. They seemed okay with that so I guess that means it is on.

As a side note, I really had a great time performing there with Dwight Slade. If you know anyone who lives in Memphis, encourage them to go and support this great new comedy club.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Bob & Tom Radio Show

I was a guest on the nationally-syndicated Bob & Tom Radio Show for the second time. It was fun to be on the show with my good friend Mike Armstrong. Tom continues to marvel at the fact that I gave up my career as a CPA to be a comedian but it certainly provides a large target for them to get laughs. That target got even bigger when I told them about playing the trombone in the Notre Dame marching band: "I thought accounting was going to make me way too cool, so I decided to geek it up a little bit with some band".

Sunday, September 3, 2006

Sioux Falls, SD

I just spent the entire day driving 750 miles with my good friend Dan Davidson, listening to him repeatedly sing Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual". Dan and I were working together at Nitwits Comedy Club in Sioux Falls, SD. The highlight of the week was sweating out the Notre Dame win over Georgia Tech. Just to see how I would react during my set, Dan sent me a note that said that Notre Dame had lost. Any true sports fan will tell you that this is never funny, especially when that sports fan is on stage at a comedy show. I needed a moment to gather my thoughts, so I decided that the entire crowd should join me in a moment of silence. Of course, no one in Sioux Falls cares much about college football, let alone knew that Notre Dame was playing that day, so it was the perfect moment for all the staff and other comedians to laugh hysterically.

Monday, August 21, 2006 has been showcasing one of my jokes. There are some new jokes on the video, so feel free to watch and let me know what you think. I just finished another weekend with Mike Armstrong. The Go Bananas Comedy Club crowd in Cincinnati might never be the same. I had a great time and enjoyed spending all day Sunday at King's Island.

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

St. Louis, MO

I don't highly recommend going to a baseball game in 100-degree weather but this was probably the only chance I had of seeing the St. Louis Cardinals play this season. The new Busch Stadium is very nice without a lot of gimmicks. You are definitely there to see a baseball game with the Gateway Arch and city's skyline serving as a perfect backdrop. Although the Cardinals lost to the Phillies, my friend Dave and I still had a good time.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Boston, MA

I made my first trip to Fenway Park in Boston tonight with my friend Dave Gilbertson, who was able to get some luxury box tickets for the Red Sox game. It was a very cool stadium with some seriously intense fans. Ben Affleck even got heckled by his entire section for not catching a foul ball.

I was in town after doing a really fun show in Waterville, ME and ocean kayaking in Kennebunkport near Walker's Point, the family vacation home of President Bush.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Detroit, MI

I performed at Ridley's Comedy Castle near Detroit this weekend. I had a great time hanging out with fellow comedian Chris White again while we saw a bloody fistfight at a Tigers game and visited the home of Motown at Studio A. The highlight of the trip was making a mock movie preview for 11 Mile.

Thursday, July 6, 2006

St. Joseph, MI

Before you do anything else, check out the band Studiotone and buy their CD. I performed tonight at Czar's, a little venue in St. Joseph, MI that does a nice job of combining comedy with original music. I had a great set and enjoyed some good laughs with Bryan and the guys. Now go buy their CD.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Real Salt Lake Soccer

Mike and I went to a Major League Soccer game today to see Real Salt Lake play the Chicago Fire. Thanks to RSL GM Steve Pastorino (pictured), we sat in great seats and got the inside scoop during the game.
We sat right behind Frank Klopas, former US Men's National Team player, and listened to him break down the game. I had a great time and look forward to seeing RSL win the next time I get to a game.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Lancaster, PA

I never thought I would ever get to say I had a Whoopie Pie in Intercourse, PA, but that is what happens when you have some free time near Lancaster, PA. You could also visit Bird-In-Hand, PA and Blue Ball, PA if you have the time. It seems that there are only a few things to do: shop at the outlet malls or stare at the Amish. After seeing an Amish guy checking out an iPod in Target, I chose to get a Mango Gelati at Rita's Ice and watch World Cup Soccer instead.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Galax, VA

Galax (pronounced Gay-lax), Virginia will never be the same. The World Capital of Mountain Music hosted a comedy show, so expect anyone that played a banjo, dulcimer, or fiddle to start rolling over in their graves. This is the only town that has a church auction off a gun cabinet for a fund raiser. Apparently guns and Jesus blend well in Galax. If you visit for lunch or dinner, make sure you visit The Galax Smokehouse for some ribs. They were the best I have ever had.

Then get yourself a mammoth Shirley Temple to finish off the night.

Friday, June 9, 2006

The Bob & Tom Radio Show

I made my first appearance on the nationally-syndicated portion of The Bob & Tom Radio Network, heard in over 150 markets across the country. That is a lot of people listening to my jokes. I had a great time on the show and appreciated their laughter. Look for the unedited version of my appearance soon on my demo page. It was quite an experience to follow Richard Jeni in the studio.

Sunday, June 4, 2006

Myrtle Beach, SC

I just finished driving 12 hours home from Myrtle Beach, SC. It was a lot of fun to go bodyboarding and get sunburned. Just to let you know, the Coppertone Sport Continuous Spray sunscreen does not actually provide the advertised "quick and even coverage" when put on in the wind. Therefore, I have patches of white surrounded by a lot of red. The local old wives' tale to remedy this is to lather it up with Head & Shoulders shampoo and I must say that it worked.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Clemson, SC

After doing a show nearby, I visited the Clemson University Football office for a special tour with Chad, the person responsible for the highlight reels for Clemson football. He took me to the stadium, nicknamed Death Valley, and showed me the sacred Howard's Rock that the team touches before running down a huge hill into the stadium. There were orange paw prints everywhere, even on the roads. Now I can definitely root for Clemson, especially when they beat Florida State.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

West Lafayette, IN

Happy Mother's Day! I just finished my unofficial Big 10 tour with shows in Lafayette, IN and Bloomington, IN this week. It was not too bad until I told the Purdue kids I went to Notre Dame. They got over pretty quickly when I started making fun of Kyle Orton. Apparently no one really likes that guy -- unless you play safety in the NFL and can pad your stats by getting a bunch of interceptions when you play the Bears.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Erie, PA

On the way home from Erie, I passed this van in the middle of Ohio. I was kind of surprised when I saw that a van painted like Pink Floyd's album The Dark Side of the Moon was not being searched by the police on the side of the road. I am pretty sure they were watching The Wizard of Oz, though. Weird.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Train Concert

I just performed in front of 4,000 people as the opening act for Train, the Grammy Award winning band. As you can see from the picture, I could not see anything so there was no way to get nervous.

I was in Erie, PA with Steve Shaffer and Jared Stern at JR's Comedy Club when this opportunity came up between the two Saturday shows. This is why it pays to be a clean comedian.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Car Stereo Stolen

My car was broken into last night while it was parked at a mechanic shop downtown Indianapolis. How pathetic does someone have to be to break into a car and steal a car stereo? Not only that, the thieves decided to also steal my library card -- as if they know how to read -- and a box full of website cards. They left the crowbar used to break my window and the police have identified the fingerprints. Idiots.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Omaha, NE

Omaha, NE provided me with plenty of things to see and do. On my way there, I stopped by John Wayne's birthplace outside of Des Moines, IA. That is when I saw the bumper sticker and had to take a picture.
The Omaha Royals were playing the Albuquerque Isotopes in AAA baseball, so I got to see people heckle, yes heckle, the other team. Talk about a tough crowd.

Sunday, April 9, 2006

Sioux City, IA

I spent the past weekend in Sioux City, IA, made famous by the Lewis and Clark expedition. The only person to die on the expedition died in Sioux City -- of appendicitis! Not much has happened since then. I did a guest set tonight in Des Moines, IA that went really well. It was also nice to see some college friends again.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Milwaukee, WI

The return trip to Milwaukee's Comedy Cafe was a success. I had a fun time working with Chad Daniels and Mr. Pleasant. I also appreciated hanging with my old friend Vimal after the show. I have known Vimal since his glory days working at Papa John's during his nearly eleven years of undergraduate school.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Peoria, IL

Ah, Peoria, IL. Hard to believe this was the home of Sam Kinison and Richard Pryor. The shows at The Jukebox Comedy Club with Tim Bedore were a lot of fun. On the way to Peoria, I was able to visit my grandparents for lunch. It was nice to see that Gram is still addicted to salad forks, so my joke can stay in the act.

Sunday, March 5, 2006

Virginia Beach, VA

I spent the weekend performing at The Thoroughgood Inn Comedy Club in Virginia Beach, VA. It was nice to see the ocean again. If you ever need some good ice cream, be sure to visit The Purple Cow and ask for a Purple Vanilla milkshake. Sure, your entire mouth will be purple for a day or so but it is worth it.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Atlanta, GA

Atlanta is the home of CNN, so I took a tour of the studios. I could never work there because people on the tour can see everything that you are doing. For the record, the tour guides don't like it when you call it Chicken Noodle News.
This weekend, I am working at The Punchline in Atlanta this week with Steve McGrew. He is a great guy that you should see when he comes to your city.

Wednesday, February 8, 2006

Blacksburg, VA

Shortly after getting to Blacksburg, VA, I made a trip to the athletic department to see what "Beamer Ball" had created. There is an empty trophy case with a sign that reads, "This space reserved for the National Championship Trophy. GO HOKIES!"

Ironically, the section reserved for football player arrest warrants was completely full.

(Jeff, Catherine, Danny, me, Kenny)

I had a great time performing in Blacksburg, VA. I really appreciated my friends Jeff and Catherine coming to the show and letting me crash their Campus Crusade lunch. It was also great to have my cousins Danny and Kenny take time away from their Virginia Tech engineering studies to see me perform live.

Saturday, February 4, 2006

Clinton County, IL

Another great run of the Clinton County Comedy Tour ended tonight with a great show at Jailhouse Rock. The crowd really enjoyed my good friends Mike Armstrong and Chris White. Last night was a lot of fun at Jimmy T’s, thanks to Jim Thole.

(Chris, Mike, Jim, me)

It is always fun to do radio and it was especially fun being with Moose on WDLJ and Scott Patric on WCXO yesterday morning.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Indiana Pacers Game

Jack and I got free tickets to the Pacers NBA game tonight from Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Indiana. We had a fun time hanging out watching them beat the Charlotte Bobcats.
I was pretty excited to see former Notre Dame player Matt Carroll come off the Bobcats bench and hit a few three-pointers.

Saturday, January 7, 2006

Madison, WI

Pete Lee and I had a great time hanging out in Madison, WI. The staff and crowds at Comedy Club on State Street were as good as it gets. It was also fun to see my friends Liz, Ted, Stacey, and Jan at the show tonight.

Note to self: The Plaza Burger is good at first but your stomach will not be happy with you four hours later.

Sunday, January 1, 2006

Grand Island, NE

Happy New Year! I am in Grand Island, Nebraska with Tim Bedore. We did two great shows, so there were nearly 700 people that brought in the new year with laughter. If you ever go to Grand Island, make sure you see all the fake animals around town. There is a guy that has a front yard that includes two elk, a moose, a 15-foot Bigfoot and 12-foot T-Rex. Yes, T-Rex. In the middle of Nebraska? Seriously, it's there.

And York, Nebraska tries to brag about their stupid water tower that is painted like a hot air balloon.