Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Blog started Jan 1, 2011

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Monday, February 1, 2010

Old Video

Here's a video I just had converted to digital format so I could put it on my YouTube page. I was randomly selected to participate in a hamster ball race during a TV timeout of the Notre Dame - UConn men's basketball game on CBS. I was winning by a lot so I decided to dive at the finish line. I had no idea it was going to be on TV or that Billy Packer and Verne Lundquist would comment on it once the game started. Enjoy!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Dorito's commercial

I got together with some friends to create a commercial to enter in the Dorito's contest. We were not selected but I still think it turned out pretty well. The video shows me with Andy Hendrickson and was directed by Tony Deyo with Keith Alberstadt. I hope it makes you laugh. And want to eat Dorito's.

Here are some behind the scenes pictures.

Me with Tony Deyo in his apartment/television studio.

Tony Deyo and Andy Hendrickson frame the shot.

I ate way too many Dorito's that day.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Paid Spot in NYC!

In less than two months after moving to New York City, I was offered a paid spot at Dangerfield's Comedy Club. The club was started by Rodney Dangerfield and hasn't been updated much since. I've been told they just removed the rotary telephones in early 2009. It's still a neat venue that has had hosted television specials and many comedy shows.

In case you'd like to know what a spot in the city pays:
$25 (or sometimes nothing at all).

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Clinton County Comedy Tour

The Clinton County Comedy Tour shows this weekend were a lot of fun. Thank you to everyone who came out and brought friends. Kristin Key really enjoyed herself and commented several times how unique these comedy shows are because nothing like this happens anywhere else.

Each time I do the shows, I try to write a new "Top 10" that has to do with Clinton County, IL. Some of these might relate if you are from a small town in the Midwest. Since I just moved to New York City, I thought there were some ways that I might be able to bring a little Southern Illinois to the big city.

Top 10 Ways to Clinton County-ize New York City

10. Have the Deien Chevy Monster Truck in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

9. Have a church picnic at St. Patrick's Cathedral. Can you imagine how many beer wagons that would be?

8. Rename Chinatown to Frogtown because I've seen both of them on a map but have never actually been. Then it occurred to me, what if I finally make it to Frogtown, IL and it's full of Chinese people?

7. The first day of deer hunting season -- stock markets closed. It's a half day of school so I think the world's finances can wait while people go kill stuff.

6. The Statue of Liberty will now be holding quilt bingo cards and a Ski bottle torch.

5. In order to make the Broadway in New York City like the Broadway in Trenton, IL, I am going to drop a four-way stop right in the middle of Times Square. Maybe even a car wash. That way everyone from Clinton County knows where to meet. "See you at the four-way."

4. Central Park is no Kaskaskia River but I bet it'd look better if we built some clubhouses and had four-wheeler rentals.

3. Have a Rakers family reunion at Madison Square Garden. It's a basketball arena but there'd still be standing room only.

2. Rename the Mets-Yankees "Subway Series" the "Milk Bowl" because it involves a team that always loses (the Mets) and a team that is the root of all evil (Mater Dei).

and the number 1 way to Clinton County-ize New York City...

1. At New Year's Eve, instead of a lighted ball drop, we'll have a huge washer going into a PVC cup. That's five points. Unless it's windy and you get a leaner. Then it's only 3.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Reading, PA

It was nice to spend a weekend doing shows in Reading, PA at the Reading Comedy Outlet. I guess they were trying to play off the outlet malls in the area but it also makes me feel like I have some less than desired jokes. I guess Reading Comedy Flea Market is a little too ridiculous so the "outlet" name stays.

The drive to Reading was fun until I got about 15 minutes north of the city on Hwy 222. Warning: don't ever drive on this part of the highway with your vent open. There is a rotting death smell that will clear your sinus for months. The locals claim it is the mushroom growing area but that sounds like the weirdest excuse for rotting death I have ever heard.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Las Vegas

If you look closely, that's me on the marquee outside The Riviera in Las Vegas. Right below the gigantic Charo in Concert and Crazy Girls Sexiest Topless Revue. And right above the Neil Diamond impersonator. Perfect.

Note to self: don't ever book this week in July again. Here is what the local news channel had on their screen Tuesday morning.

I think the word "HOT" is a bit of an understatement. This is the only weather report I have seen that was dead on every single day. It might have only been 107 on Wednesday but that's close enough for me.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Bermuda Cruise

Well, I can check "go on a cruise" off my list. I spent the past five days on Royal Caribbean's Grandeur of the Seas on a trip from Norfolk, VA to Bermuda. In case you have never been on a cruise, this is what it looks like.

It's hard to believe we avoided the Bermuda Triangle because our captain was on the intercom more than he was driving the boat. Do I really need to know the ocean is 28.000 feet deep right here? It was worse than a Southwest pilot flying over the Grand Canyon.
The first thing I did when I got on the boat was to participate in a Muster Drill. That's their way of saying, "Welcome to the expensive cruise you paid for, here's who you'll be in a lifeboat with when the ship goes down". Let's just say I planned on finding a new group when the chaos ensued. I'm not floating in the middle of ocean in a lifeboat with some moron who has to ask how to put on a life jacket.

Once we got to Bermuda, I made the most of my time there by going SCUBA diving at two ship wrecks: Constellation and Montana. Here are the certificates to prove it:

Okay, so they are just generic certificates that I wrote my name on but it was still a really cool experience. The Constellation wrecked when trying to deliver goods to the Confederacy during the Civil War. It was amazing to think about being around a ship that old.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Greatest Picture of All Time

I have a joke about how awesome it would be to see a Trans Am towing a trailer. Every show I ask the audience to email me a picture so I can put it on my blog and Eric in Green Bay, WI came through! His friend Justin put this together and it is hilarious. They even included the Osh Vegas sign! (see previous post)

Friday, April 10, 2009

I'm on TV!

I was a guest on The Bob & Tom Radio Show yesterday morning. WGN installed cameras in the studio so they can air the show on TV the next night. The cool part is that one of my jokes was used in the intro segment of the show.

This was my first comedy appearance on television. It was a great way for people to hear my comedy that may not live in a Bob & Tom radio market. If you want to know when something like this is going to happen again, please sign up for my mailing list at