Saturday, January 27, 2007

Charleston, WV

This was a pretty weird week. I did a show at the University of Charleston in Charleston, WV. It used to be called Morris Harvey University until they lost their religion and moved across the river. It might be more complicated than that but I am positive no one from there is reading this blog because the university's internet doesn't even work.

Check out the pickup truck I passed on the way there. "Ain't Scared" -- of what? You are a white guy driving a pickup truck in Kentucky. I hope this guy doesn't know where to vote.

I followed that up with a show at Bear's Place in Bloomington, IN where a girl up front seemed to have a few jokes hit a little too close to home. What are the odds of having a Canadian girl with a belly-button ring and a tattoo in the crowd? Apparently pretty good in Bloomington, IN. Had she also been in the marching band, I am pretty sure the end of the world would have started right then.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Bettendorf, IA

The weekend with Mike Armstrong in Bettendorf, IA was fun as usual. During a show, I told a drunk heckler she had a big ass and then I got to watch Mike win a lot of money on the slot machines. What am I supposed to say when a lady interrupts my show to say that "That people behind me can't see so they want me to sit on my ass because I have big hair." Apparently "Are you sure they don't want you to sit on your hair because you have a big ass?" gets a thunderous laugh.

The Quad Cities is also home to John Deere, maker of $300,000 combines. Like I needed another reason not to be a farmer.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Glenville, WV

Glenville State College is in Glenville, WV which is in the middle of nowhere. Seriously. People are actually bragging when they say that their outhouse has electricity. I wish I was kidding but I am not. The show on campus was held in The Rusty Musket. That does not sound like a student center at all but rather some sort of STD.

On the way there, I passed a minivan driver that thinks God is #1 and supports the Confederacy. The scariest part is this was on a minivan so that means the driver is breeding.