Sunday, April 22, 2007

Clinton County, IL

In case you missed The Clinton County Comedy Tour this weekend, here is the Top10 I wrote for the shows. Feel free to email this to all your friends that might get these inside jokes. I had a great time and appreciated everyone that came out. Be sure to check for my road stories and future shows.
Top 10 Clinton Co Signs Spring Is Here
written by John Garrett

10. You dust off your beer helmet and Bingo cards for the upcoming church picnic season.

9. Forget MTV's Spring Break : Cancun, Kaskaskia College kids have "Spring Break : Keyesport".

8. You see people in church at Easter you haven't seen since Christmas – and won't see until next Christmas.

7. A wardrobe change in your closet consists of replacing flannel shirts with sleeveless flannel shirts.

6. You go to take down your Christmas lights but then realize it's almost May and might as well leave them up for the year.

5. The Breese Golf Course is flooded – again.

4. You can't get into the carwash because the bays are full of mud.

3. Send your Clinton County softball jersey to the dry cleaners. Not because it's dirty but because that's the only way to remove the beer stains.

2. Spring cleaning consists of removing three trash bags of Stag beer cans from your clubhouse.

1. We can look forward to the Central girls dominating basketball and then having Don Imus call them straight-haired farm beeyotches.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

U.P. Michigan

The UP is what they call it. I call it BFE. I just finished a full week of shows in the frozen tundra -- in mid-April.

I started the week at Acme in Minneapolis, MN. My trip then took me to Duluth, MN and then to Kewadin Casinos in the UP of Michigan -- St. Ignace, Sault Ste Marie and Manistique. While driving to Manistique, I saw a sign that said that the parking rest area was closed until Spring.
I guess their Spring doesn't start until June, so pack your winter coat if you plan on visiting before then.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Riverside, IA

Tonight was possibly the weirdest show I have ever done. I was at the beautiful Riverside Resort Casino in Riverside, IA. The problem was that the show as actually in the casino! There was a crowd of eight on a Tuesday night and that doesn't count the dealers that were listening in when they didn't have customers. Unbelievable.