Sunday, February 10, 2008

Clinton County Comedy Tour

The Clinton County Comedy Tour with John Garrett had another successful run this weekend. Highland even welcomed the shows. I realize this isn't Clinton County, but I thought they really needed a laugh. Headliner Mario DiGiorgio was a huge success, so I am happy my good friend was able to book these shows.

I always write a unique Top 10 for each tour. For those that do not know, the State of Illinois recently passed a ban on smoking in bars. While this may seem bad for some of you, think about what could have been banned.

Top 10 Items That Could Have Been Banned
From Clinton County Bars
written by John Garrett (

10. Camouflage because this means less people in a bar smelling like deer piss.

9. Cowboy hats because your horse isn't parked out front, Partner.

8. Can Coolies – especially wedding ones because there's no need to show off that you were at Randy's wedding. Odds are everyone else was there, too.

7. Chewing tobacco because no one wants to accidentally drink your spit can.

6. Babies because they don't need a drink until they learn to walk.

5. Middle-aged Ladies' Night Out because falling down while dancing to Baby Got Back is embarrassing. I don't like big butts and I don't lie.

4. Cover Bands because the only difference between you and a DJ is a DJ knows more songs.

3. County League Softball Jerseys – both Men's and Women's because either way, it's less testosterone.

2. Comedy because these Top 10's really get people riled up.

and the number one item that could have been banned...

1. Anything Mater Dei because, well, do we really need a reason?

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